You know what’s weird?

Sometimes I run through a moment in my head and find myself exaggerating details, trying to make it mean something or validate that it has meaning. At the time it happened though, there was that substance. Everything I would have said then reflected exactly how I felt. What does that mean though? That I don’t care as much as I used to? That I’ve grown accustomed to shrugging off emotions? 

Sometimes, there’s too much hurt. Sometimes, numbing works. Crying, praying, pleading. Anything to get through that pain. Because I would rather be content than feel weighed down in the chest by reality (? not sure that’s the right word I’m looking for…). Forgetting the pain, never talking about it…Sometimes, it’s just easier. By doing that though, is that where I’m losing substance?